Personal Growth Skills Give Us Courage to Change Our Lives

by Rose

It takes courage to make changes to our lives and these changes will test the depth of our personal growth/personal development skills. One of my favorite scriptures that has helped me so many times in my life when I was going through so many changes was:

Romans: 8:28. And, we know that all things work together for good for them that love God and are called to His purpose.
 
When any kind of change happens in your life– either by 'design' or by 'default' we must trust that is always working for our good.
   
However, when we are going through change the level of our personal growth maturity levels will be tested; and when we have internalized some important personal growth skills, they will give us more courage to change the course of our lives if we feel like we are stuck in a certain place. Personal growth skills can include having more feelings of confidence, less fear, having more resources, supportive family members, and a 'knowingness' that we can make the changes we want in our lives.

Most of us have been dissatisfied at times in our lives.  I know that I've been through times in my life where I've felt very unsatisfied. However, I didn't know what I needed to do to make things differently. Or, I was afraid of making the changes I thought I needed to make. Or, I allowed all of the excuses to come up about 'why' I couldn't make the changes I thought I wanted.

Many times, we wish things were different, but we're still resistant to doing something about it to change the dissatisfaction. Many times, I've felt like I didn't even know what I wanted and wished that somebody would just tell me what I wanted and needed to do. But, then would I do it when they made those suggestions? 

Making changes is difficult for many people simply, because most of us like to stay in our comfort zones. Many times, we waste a lot of time, just thinking about how our life could be different instead of actually doing something about it and therefore, we just stay in our comfort zone until…….

The research shows that most people who grew up in dysfunctional families have a tendency to stay in their comfort zones without actually stepping out and making some actual changes. This includes nearly everybody, including me. Most of us do not like to feel uncomfortable because it feels good to have that feeling of security and things being the same– as dysfunctional as it may be. It gives us a sense of 'knowingness' because we know how things stand; and we like that. We prefer things to be safe and secure although may just be an illusion. Even the 'little' changes that we choose for ourselves can often require months of emotional adjustment such as having a baby or moving to a new area. The truth is that most people do not like change!
 

However, when change happens that's out of our control, like being laid off from a job or a partner asking for a divorce, we often feel overwhelmed. At those times, we are forced to go through changes simply; because our situation has changed. It is at these times that most of our transformation will occur in our lives and we will acquire some new personal growth skills. All of a sudden, we are forced to make changes and all of a sudden, we realize that we 'can' do it. 

On an unconscious level, change can make you feel vulnerable and out of control, which reminds you of negative experiences from childhood when you were small and vulnerable. If you're not aware, you can unknowingly go into defensive, reactive behavior, expecting the worst and protecting yourself from your perceived enemies. 

However, as you allow yourself to go through the changes, you will feel yourself 'being' different. Your behavior may change as well as your beliefs. I've experienced this many times in my life–that when the crisis actually happened–that I could do it. All of a sudden, I had more self-confidence in my ability to make those needed changes and guess what? It actually felt good! I felt happy, motivated, and my life was exciting although I was in the middle of a crisis and going through tremendous changes.

Fortunately, with awareness, you can transform negative responses when they occur in the crisis and throughout the change. Your life is changing for the better although you may not see how it is all going to work out right away. However, if you can change your perception and interpretation, you can choose to see change as a gift, which can “change the course of your life.”
 
In addition, by making that choice, you can become open to the amazing opportunities that change offers you. In these opportunities, you will learn and grow in the process of this journey. So, what can you do when the world you know falls apart? Well, why don't you just learn to ride the waves of life during these times of changes happening in your life instead of trying to control everything? 

Yeah, that’s right—'don’t resist it'. You don't know where it is taking you. You are just going to have to trust the Divine in this process of changing your life although it may not have been your choice. Throughout these periods in my life, I've had to hold on to God and allow Him to lead me. Many times, I have felt like I was walking through the 'valley of death' with blinders on. 🙂

Here are some things that you can do to make peace with change:
1. Surrender and let the Universe take charge of your life. The Universe knows much better than us what will be for our best and highest good.

2. Stay open to the life lessons that the Universe/God wants to teach you. The Universe always wants you to learn about self-acceptance, self-esteem, and self-actualization. It always wants you to grow through your challenges and life transitions. There are so many things that the Universe wants you to learn. In other words, let yourself trust that everything is in Divine order for your life.

Remember: Whatever you do, don't forget to stay open to the good the Universe has in store for you.  When you look back ten years from now, you may be saying, "Even though I thought that the world had turned upside down and against me– those were the best years of my life!" Change is always working for our good and our level of personal growth gave us more courage to go through all of those changes.


Please leave your comments below and tell me about some of your experiences.

How can I assist you on your journey with changes that are happening in your life?   

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Victoria Gazeley March 27, 2011 at 4:08 PM

The 'letting go' is always challenging, but ultimately the only choice we have.  Thanks for this, Rose!

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Annie Berryhill March 26, 2011 at 9:57 AM

Well, I must be a little weird because I actually like change. Maybe that is my normal as life changed frequently in my younger years and then in the first 10 years of married life we moved 3 times a year for my hubby's job!
I understand change often is the catalyst to growth and I am all for it!
Love your insight and guidance Rose!

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Rose March 26, 2011 at 10:07 AM

Anne—thanks for your comment. I, too, LOVE change. I used to hate it. But, then in 1983- I lost my husband, marriage and had 5 immediate family member tragedies in a 10-month period. Talk about being a basket case. However, with all of the loss, I was growing and so many changes were happening. That’s when I saw how exciting it could all be despite the trauma and grief that I was going through. But, I do know that most people do resist change.

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Carol Giambri March 25, 2011 at 1:38 AM

Rose,
Loved the article. Being open to change with God on your site is a key in my life. I want the peace that surpasses all understanding as I continue to change. Thanks.

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Elvie Look March 23, 2011 at 10:30 PM

Lovely article. Yes, change is difficult. I have always fought it, but really I have no control. I loved the point you made to you allow yourself to go through the changes and you will feel yourself 'being' different. Good job and very encouraging!

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